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Constable Cuddy was the first dwarf member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, hired under the first steps of Lord Vetinari's "special hiring procedures", at the same time as Detritus (a troll) and Angua (a werewolf), both of whom have since risen in the Watch. Cuddy was Detritus's first partner on the job. In the interest of doing better on the job and making the most of the partnership, Cuddy taught Detritus how to count in tens instead of twos (troll normal counting is in fours, but Detritus only managed twos). Cuddy also constructed a special helmet with a fan to cool the troll's impure-silicon brain so that he could think better (see Detritus and trolls for an explanation on troll brain physiology). Carrot Ironfoundersson (then Corporal) conscripted many men, trolls, and dwarfs into the Watch (or Citizens' Militia as it was called in those times of unrest), and Cuddy and Detritus looked poised for rapid promotion to manage the new recruits. When an assassin attempts to remove the city's leaders to allow the true heir to take the throne, Cuddy is promoted to Acting Corporal alongside Detritus. Sadly, in a few days, Cuddy was killed on the job when he was sent to scout out the area ahead of the Patrician's visit to the Unseen University. He is killed when he finds the assassin hiding in the Tower of Art; a new Watchman against an experienced killer. Cuddy, therefore, was the first dead copper in the modern Watch.

As a newly-deceased dwarf, Cuddy argued with Death on his arrival in the afterlife. Having died suddenly and unexpectedly, normal funeral custom had not yet been applied and Cuddy was aware of the total absence of any funeral weapons with which to defend himself against any entities which, while dwarfs might not believe in them, might have an inconvenient belief in dwarfs. Cuddy folded his arms, planted his feet, and refused to go any further until he had a weapon of some sort, as was his deathright. It is understood that Carrot, aware of his foster-race's traditions, obliged by ensuring Cuddy had exactly the right sort of weapon to take to the grave with him...

It is said on the disc that the span of a person's life is not measured by how long they lived but by their actions, some of which continue after their death. For many years after his death, the helmet Cuddy constructed remains on Detritus’ head, still cooling his brain and helping the troll to think clearer thoughts.


When the petty frustrations and irritations of police work get to Cuddy, he screams and yells "I'm too short for this shit!" Compare this to "I'm too old for this shit!" - a line spoken by Danny Glover, as Det Sgt Roger Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon (a film centering on the cliché of two ill-assorted coppers being partnered together). By the end of Men at Arms, Cuddy's partner Detritus has certainly found his lethal weapon....Lance-Constable Cuddy is a dwarf in the Ankh-Morpork Night Watch. In Men at Arms, he is recruited alongside Lance-Constables Angua and Detritus as part of an affirmative action initiative, to Captain Vimes' disgust. He is partnered with the troll Detritus on the hope that having them work together will help relieve some of the tensions between their two races, especially given the recent murder of a prominent figure in the dwarf community and arrest of a prominent figure in the troll community. Though initially unhappy, they do develop a friendship, and Cuddy teaches Detritus how to count.