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Miss Eulalie Butts is Headmistress of the Quirm College for Young Ladies. On page 374 of Soul Music she is described as having "a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner,and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly, she had apparently been able to keep this a secret from people." It isn't until Susan STo Helit leaves school that she realizes that Miss Butts was actually an elderly, birdlike woman who is very tiny. It is unclear how long she has been headmistress and not teaching in the classroom. However, she finds paperwork infinitely more dependable than people, when worried. When really worried, she turns to eurythmics* for solace.

While Miss Butts and her school co-founder Miss Delcross were forward-looking by the standards of the Disc in wanting to provide education for girls to the same standard at least as boys receive, they are quite naive regarding the psychology of adolescent girls. A stern lecture on the unspecified dangers of the city of Quirm had completely the opposite effect to that intended - encouraging all three hundred girls to escape over the wall and sample those unspecified dangers for themselves, at the earliest possible opportunity, since teenage girls living a physically healthy existence, who are deprived of fried foods on the grounds that these are unhealthy, will tend to break every school rule for the taste of a single chip....

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