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The Streets of Ankh Morpork[]

by Neil Padgen & Adrian Ogden

Have you seen the old man in the Street of Cunning Artificers

Selling hot pig pies (or cow or horse or goat)

Tangy mustard might disguise the gristle lurking in his pies

"Just a dollar fifty and I'm cutting me own throat"


So how can you tell me that you're lonely

And say for you that the sun don't shine

Let me walk you 'cross the Ankh

and lead you through the streets of Morpork

I'll show you something that'll make you change your mind

Have you seen the old girl in her Quirm Street apartment

Stitching up the clothing that's piled upon her floor

"Bugger off!" you'll hear her say, broom in hand to chase away

The dwarves outside her window and the monks outside her door

In Harga's House of Ribs at a quarter to eleven

Black robe and scythe in the corner all alone

For starter, main course and dessert, look at the front of Harga's shirt

He's pleased with his new cook, he works his fingers to the bone

Have you seen the wizard inside the Mended Drum

Half his hat is missing, "WIZD" is all that's there

Permanently paranoid, he shares drinks with an anthropoid

One more forgotten wizard in a world that doesn't care