Alice 'Wazzer' Goom was a minor character in Monstrous Regiment. She is a fervent believer in the Duchess Annagovia, who had been deified by the people of Borogravia as a kind of all-too-human response to the god-shaped hole left by the incompetence of their national deity Nuggan. She appears to be to Annagovia what Brutha was to Om in Small Gods - the last remaining true believer. By the time of Monstrous Regiment the original deity of Borogravia, Nuggan, seems to have suffered the fate feared by Om - no more believers and dead for all intents of purposes - not surprising since like many fundamentalist religions he 'abominates' everything from babies to beets. Wazzer is based on Jean d'Arc (Joan of Arc) who claimed to hear god's voice directing her to lead the French Army against the English. In Wazzer's case she claimed to hear the Duchess' voice and believed that she was being led to a glorious end that would culminate in an epiphany. "She prayed like a child, eyes screwed up and hands clenched until they were white. The reedy little voice trembled with such belief that everyone felt embarrased." Wazzer was another of the members of the Tenth Foot regiment, known colloquially as the Ins-and-Outs, or the Cheesemongers, some including Wazzer who came from the brutal Girl's School and escaped. She met Polly Perks in the regiment and had a series of adventures which she serenely endured as she knew that the Duchess would see her through. Her unit considered her mad but tolerated her as one of their own, as she too had disguised herself as a man in order to enlist. In a twist it turned out that Wazzer could in fact hear the Duchess, and through her she reanimated the corpses of all the long-dead Borogravian military, who had been interred in the same crypt, and led them to a notable victory over the alien forces that had come to their country. When the Duchess'a spirit finally left her, Wazzer collapsed and her sad past was revealed. She ended up on a general's staff, had her own room and was never beaten again. .

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