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Wow wow sauce

Wow Wow Sauce

Favoured by auto-condimentors in general (and Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully of Unseen University in particular), Wow-Wow Sauce is a condiment known to include mature scumble, pickled cucumbers, capers, mustard, mangoes, figs, grated wahoonie, anchovy essence, asafoetida, sulphur and saltpetre. It is considered appropriate for use on meat, fish, fowl, eggs and many vegetable dishes.

Wow-Wow Sauce is highly volatile, to the point that it can be used not only as a condiment but also to break up small rocks and tree roots. Aficionados know that it is safe to consume only after sweat is no longer condensing on the bottle, and that it is vitally important not to make any jolting movements for half an hour following consumption. For these reasons, Wow-Wow Sauce has been outlawed in at least three cities. The only condiment more dangerous is the mercifully rare Three Mile Island salad dressing.

Wow-Wow Sauce as found on Discworld would almost certainly merit the attention of some form of chemical weapons team here on the Roundworld; assuming of course it wasn't banned by international treaty. Nonetheless, as is typical of anything truly dangerous, a reflection of Wow-Wow Sauce can be found on the Roundworld. Apparently created by Dr. William Kitchiner in the early 1800s, details of variants of this version are included in The Discworld Companion and Nanny Ogg's Cookbook; it is however decidedly less explosive than that found on the Disc.

Annotations[]

Wow-Wow Sauce (sometimes referred to as Bow wow sauce) is a sauce for which the first known recipe was published by William Kitchiner of London in 1817. It contains port, wine vinegar, parsley, pickled cucumbers or pickled walnuts, English mustard and mushroom ketchup in a base of beef stock, flour and butter. A recipe appears in Enquire Within Upon Everything (88th edition, 1894). It was served with beef.

'Wow-Wow Sauce' appears several times as the title of a routine by the comedian and actor Charles Mathews, at least since a playbill for the Theatre Royal, Chester, for Feb 27th 1830 (Chester Chronicle - Friday 26 February 1830).

There is a bizarre reference in William Black's 'The Land that Thyme Forgot' to a variant called Bow Wow Sauce as being produced in the Cotswold village of Painswick for the occasion of a reconciliatory feast with the neighbouring village of Stroud after Stroud's accusation that a Painswick shepherd had sacrificed a pie made of puppies to the shepherd god.

Recipe[]

Chop some parsley-leaves very fine; quarter two or three pickled cucumbers, or walnuts, and divide them into small squares, and set them by ready: put into a saucepan a bit of butter as big as an egg; when it is melted, stir to it a table-spoonful of fine flour, and about half a pint of the broth in which the beef was boiled; add a table-spoonful of vinegar, the like quantity of mushroom catchup, or port wine, or both, and a tea-spoonful of made mustard; let it simmer together till it is as thick as you wish it; put in the parsley and pickles to get warm, and pour it over the beef; or rather send it up in a sauce-tureen.

Obs. If you think the above not sufficiently piquante, add to it some capers, or a minced eschalot, or one or two tea-spoonfuls of eschalot wine, or essence of anchovy, or basil, elder, or tarragon, or horseradish, or burnet vinegar; or strew over the meat carrots and turnips cut into dice, minced capers, walnuts, red cabbage, pickled cucumbers, or French beans, &c.

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